i will write your life

focus October 10, 2006

my focus is trying to find some happiness.  simple, stable happiness

saved and noticed October 10, 2006

have you ever wanted to save someone?

sometimes i feel like i’m sinking in a vast ocean with millions of people struggling just like me.  and as i’m looking around at everyone’s helpless expressions, i wish that there would be someone flying overhead.  and that person, whomever they may be, will spot me and only me, and swoop down to my rescue.  i wish i was special enough for someone to notice me.

your happiness October 9, 2006

i wonder if i can let go.  when that day comes and i see you going down the aisle with all the elegance in the world.  what will i do?  can i let you go if i know that you’re truly happy with your soon to be husband?  will i burst out into some outrageous plea for your heart?  maybe i should just look away and pretend that we never knew each other.  and let my heart completely dissolve into the oceans past.  what will i do…for your happiness, for mine

subject matter October 8, 2006

it hurts when you talk about looking for your wedding dress

from far away October 5, 2006

i wish i could send you a hug before you start your day

kiss October 1, 2006

why am i always running away from the thought of kissing you?

is it because i’m afraid of what will happen after we kiss?  will you still choose him and not me?  will it destroy me in the future as memory.  when i’m sitting alone at night thinking about you, knowing that you’re happier with him, i’ll be haunted with the memory of your lovely lips against mine.

palms and lips September 30, 2006

what is it about touching palms that is so universal?  you can see children all across the world playing games by slapping palms.  greetings are done with a handshake, or with palms pressed together as in prayer.  when we walk with a loved one, we hold hands.  is it even more intimate than a kiss?

unrequited September 28, 2006

i want to call you, but i’m not sure if you actually want me to call you

i feel like a kid, uncertain.  maybe all these words are childish, but they’re true

pure September 28, 2006

i wonder if you’re smiling at this very moment. it’s a good possiblity that you are. or you could be concentrating on something like teaching or studying or caring for a patient. you could be wearing any whacky facial expression at this very moment, but it’s what is in your heart that matters. that pure heart with its simple needs and gentle happiness. i wonder if you know how much of a difference you’ve already made in this world. forget about the future, you’ve already been amazing.